How Music Can Enhance Your Proposal: Memories, Emotion, and Communication

10/8/2019

Written by Adelaide Lovelady & Holly Slice

It is that time of the year... Love is in the crisp fall air and couples are getting engaged!

Did you know that the fall time is great for strengthening relationships and taking the next-step?

The Warm Up shares there are four reasons the fall season enhances relationships:

1. "It's the Season for Cuddling:

'The weather starts to cool off, so it’s more cuddly weather, and it’s more of a time to cuddle up by the fireplace and sit and have long talks,” Dr. Jenn says. 'It’s an opportunity to do more ‘cozy’ activities.'"

2. "There’s a ‘Realness’ to Your Relationship.:

One of the positive things about the fall is that, in the summer, it is sort of ‘fantasy island’ time,' Dr. Jenn says. 'We’re going on vacations, we’re going for walks on the beach, and we’re laying out by the pool. We’re doing these more ‘fantasy island’ activities. It’s kind of like The Bachelor, where they go on all those vacations.

But, when fall hits, it moves our relationship into reality in a really positive way. We don’t know if a relationship can work until we try it in ‘real life.’ If you have kids, you’re taking them to school and dealing with all those pressures. You’re busy working. It’s more real life.'"

3. "It’s ‘Meet [and Visit] the Parents’ Time [of Year]:

This season is rich with family-oriented occasions, including Thanksgiving as well as Christmas and Hannukah, and it’s important to understand your partner’s parents and their relationship with them.

Often, meeting the parents is a chance to sense the possible future. Yes, there can be a fear of receiving their blessing, but this is as much about your experience as theirs. How does your partner’s family and their traditions, etc. match with yours? Take advantage—this is an opportunity to connect.

4. "Romance is in the Air:

“The sun going down earlier, which makes for some nice, early sunsets and romantic dinner,” she says. The sun going down and it makes for some romantic, candlelit dinners, because you can’t light the candles when the sun is still out.”

Due to these reasons and more, October-December are great months to pop the question. Our owner, Holly, even got engaged 5 years ago during October at the battery downtown!

We understand that this precious moment can be nerve-wracking, however, here are a few ideas of how to incorporate live music into your proposal to create an unforgettable engagement story that she will enjoy sharing with friends and family for years to come!

Music and Memories

Do you remember when you found your childhood blanket and memories came flooding back into existence? Or you ate a dish that tasted just like your mother’s? Or you heard a song that you hadn't heard in years, but you had a very specific memory attached to the song that quickly returned to mind?

Memories are deeply connected to our 5 senses (vision, smell, taste, touch, hearing) and bring special moments to mind. You and your loved one have memories that are just as special, but it is up to you to recall songs that connect to those special moments!

Keating, a married theatre professor at Charleston Southern University shared, “Yes, a song has a huge effect on the memory, but it really is about the memory that makes the song so special. {For example,] I remember my wife, my two kids, and I were on the road screaming Taylor Swift’s “Our Song,” and to this day when I hear that song, I think about that moment. I get goosebumps just talking about it.”

For your engagement, we recommend choosing a song that has a cherished memory tied to it. Not only does it make the song romantic, but she will also appreciate that you took the time to think through songs that are special to the two of you!

Additionally, you can consider songs that are meaningful to her. For example, one of our clients, Shea, reached out with the following proposal idea: "I'm planning on asking my girlfriend to marry me at my home next Friday evening. The idea is to take her out to dinner and then bring her back to the house where a musician would be playing her favorite song on the piano - the song “O” by Coldplay. We have lawn lights that I would have turned on and champagne on ice waiting for us...I’d then ask her to marry me in the backyard under the lights."

It was an honor for us to be a part of his sweet proposal and her saying "yes!"

Music and Emotion

Just like memories, music triggers past emotions, and it doesn’t have to be the same exact experiences. Music can trigger the emotion of your first kiss, first dance, the time your love fell into a lake, it could be anything!

Science has proved that music can have a positive effect on emotions as listening to music releases dopamine. It could be the melodic keys running up and down the piano or the vocals tugging on your heart strings, but regardless, music makes us feel. The music you choose can have a beautiful effect on the emotions and sentimentality of your proposal!

Music and Communication

It can be very nerve wracking to pop the question and sometimes the words just don't come easily or adequately to express the depth of your feelings! Perhaps there is a song you could choose to "speak" for you, communicating what you want to say. We love this video example of "All of Me," where the musicians shared the original song and then incorporated the boyfriend's words into the song!

When you are choosing the right song, consider what ideas you want to communicate. Is she your best friend? Are you thinking about your future together? What qualities do you love about her? Do you want nothing more than to hear the word 'yes'?

Consider your own personalities too! Instead of a ballad, you might want to choose a fun, upbeat R&B selection like "Ain't No Mountain High Enough"

For specific song ideas, check out Wedding Wire's article "13 Proposal Songs That Will Pretty Much Guarantee a "Yes!"

(And to note, although we love these two song examples, your proposal does not have to be in flash-mob format. A violinist playing table side at a fancy restaurant, a pianist in your own backyard, or a cellist in a local park is intimate and just as effective!)

Live Music Vs. Recorded

Although recorded music can be incorporated into a proposal, we highly recommend connecting with live musicians in your area for these four reasons:

1. Atmosphere: Live music allows for a higher aesthetic quality. Music changes the atmosphere of the proposal and fosters memories that are unique and specific to that moment!

2. Attentiveness: Having live musicians at your proposal takes extra thought and planning, which will mean a lot to your significant other!

3. Adaptability: The music itself can be catered to personal preferences in instrumentation, tempo, and style. Maybe the hard rock version of a song doesn’t match your vision, but an adapted, acoustic version of the song would be perfect and unique. Additionally, live musicians can incorporate your names, inside-jokes, special memories and more into the lyrics of the song!

4. Advice: Making decisions about music can be overwhelming at times and it is incredibly helpful to have an experienced musician on your team to make it an easy and fun process. Professional musicians can provide consultation to assist in choosing just the right music for popping the question!

Your mind is your “life” camera. It never stops. It captures small fleeting moments, it records all of your memories for you and allows you to take a stroll down memory lane. So, when you ask the lucky girl the “big” question, remember it all. Remember her happy tears, her voice, the atmosphere, and the music, because it will all be a part of your once in a lifetime memory! ♫

If you are planning to pop the question in the Charleston, SC area, please reach out to us -- We'd love to be a resource for you!

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